December 26 — The Alcoholism Is Winning
Someone once said, “Your alcoholism is winning.”
I remember thinking, What are you talking about? I’m not drinking.
End of conversation. Or so I thought.
What they meant was this: alcoholism isn’t just about alcohol. It’s the disease of more. More money. More attention. More comfort. More excitement. More relief. It grinds away at you quietly, day after day, until the mental side finally shrugs and says, “Screw it,” and you do the thing.
When I looked at it that way, a whole new part of the program opened up.
Not am I drinking? but where am I restless, irritable, and discontent—and trying to fix it with more?
Maybe it’s buying a new car, and two weeks later the color bugs me.
Maybe it’s chasing a new relationship when, if I’m honest, all I really wanted was sex.
Maybe it’s money, food, scrolling, projects, control, fixing other people, or proving I’m right—again.
None of those things are evil on their own. The danger is believing this one thing will finally settle me inside. That’s where the grind starts. That’s where the disease wins without ever opening a bottle.
And then came the follow-up I didn’t expect: be gentle with yourself.
This whole thing is delicate. Recovery isn’t about beating yourself into submission. It’s about noticing the grind earlier, pausing sooner, and remembering that peace usually shows up when I stop chasing “more” and let God do His job.
If alcoholism is winning, it doesn’t mean I’m failing.
It means I need to slow down, get honest, and handle this thing with care.
Where in your life have you noticed the disease of “more” trying to pass itself off as a solution—and what did you learn when it didn’t deliver?
