November 11 – Small Steps
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” — Wayne Gretzky (quoted by Michael Scott)
It seems alcoholics are either strong starters or strong finishers—rarely both. We get so perfectionistic about the plan that we never start, or we finally start something and get so hung up on how it’ll end—and how it’ll look to everyone else—that we never finish. Half the time I wasn’t chasing progress; I was chasing approval.
A part of overthinking, I’ve gathered, is really just self-seeking that hasn’t found the right plan yet. I want every project to go perfectly, making my life easier, and to get me that invisible A+ from the world. Deep down, I’m still that kid from A Christmas Story, daydreaming that my teacher’s gonna yell out, “A plus… plus! PLUS!” while the whole class celebrates me.
By the time I got to AA, I had a lifetime’s worth of half-finished projects sitting on the shelf in my head. From the outside, I probably looked lazy. But if you could’ve hooked a computer up to my brain, you’d see I’d burned ten times more energy thinking about doing the thing than the average guy who just rolled up his sleeves and got to work. I was exhausted from imaginary labor.
For me, the real problem wasn’t laziness—it was trying to control an outcome. I spent most of my life trying to script the ending and earn applause I didn’t need. The Steps taught me I can’t. I have to let go and let God, loosen that white-knuckle grip I’ve had on the world, and stop trying to bend it to my own self-centered plans.
Putting in the footwork means starting, not perfecting. It means a small step forward is still a step forward, whether I'm starting a project, or finishing one. And here’s the kicker—I’m allowed to admit I’m overwhelmed. I’m allowed to rest. I'm allowed to rest and ask for help. It turns out nobody’s ever criticized me the way I’ve criticized myself.
So when I feel myself getting jammed up, I try a simple prayer: “God, please let me see if I’ve taken on too much here and steer me back on course.”
Then I pause. Pay attention to who God puts in my path. And move along.
Nothing—nothing—in God’s world happens by mistake.
What has you froze up from overthinking at this moment—and what small step forward could you take?
