"Obviously, a solitary self-appraisal, and the admission of our defects based upon that alone, wouldn't be nearly enough." — Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
One of the more exhausting character defects is living for other people's approval. We spend years wondering what people think about us. Did they like us? Did we say the right thing? Are they mad at us? Did they notice what we did? Before long, we find ourselves making decisions based on keeping everyone else happy instead of simply doing the next right thing.
The strange part is, no amount of approval is ever enough. Someone can compliment us ten times, but the one criticism is the one we carry around all day. That's because approval can never give us the peace we're looking for. It only leaves us wanting more.
Step Seven begins to loosen that grip. As God removes this defect, we slowly stop asking, "What do they think of me?" and start asking, "Am I doing the next right thing?" Those are two very different ways to live.
The first makes us prisoners of other people's opinions. The second makes us useful. When our worth depends on approval, we're always chasing something we can never quite catch. But when our worth comes from trying to do God's will one day at a time, we're finally free to let people think whatever they're going to think. And that's a freedom no one can take away.
How much of your day is spent seeking approval instead of simply trying to do the next right thing?
