January 28 – The Invisible Line
“Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.” — Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
We don’t need a Jellinek Curve to tell us this whole drinking thing has a pattern. We lived it. It builds us up, makes us feel bulletproof — then tears us down and takes everything we have. At first it’s all laughs, long nights, and good stories. Then somewhere along the way, the fun starts taking more than it gives. And before we even realize it, the line we swore we’d never cross is already miles behind us.
For a long time, we thought we still had choices. We thought we could slow it down, switch drinks, or prove we weren’t like “those” alcoholics. But once we crossed that invisible line, something in us changed. Drinking stopped being a choice — it became a job. We weren’t chasing the buzz anymore; We were just trying to quiet the noise in our head.
Every morning we’d swear we were was done. Every night we’d find ourselves pouring another one, wondering how the hell we got there again. That’s the insanity of it — thinking we're running the show when the show’s already over.
That invisible line is different for everybody, but once it is crossed, we don’t go back. We don’t drink the same, think the same, or live the same. It’s not punishment — it’s just the truth.
When did I realize the line was already behind me — and how long did I keep pretending it wasn’t?
