“There is One who has all power. May you find Him now.” — Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
If there is One who has all power, we’re sorry to say there ain’t any left for us to have. And there is only one place to find a God of your understanding: right here, right now. Like, now.
What’s your biggest problem in the world right now? What’s really eating your lunch? What’s scaring you? Kid problems? Money problems? Alone problems? Legal stuff? Fear of drinking again? Most of that stuff exists in two places: the wreckage of our past, or obsessively thinking about the wreckage of our future.
It don’t have to be like that.
In the Fifth Step, we’re looking for some understanding of our reckless natures so we can finally set it aside. Once it’s set aside, we have room for one thought, and one thought only: there is a God, and we are forgiven. Like, truly forgiven. Not ignored. Not shamed into doing something we don’t want to do. Not that conditional love where it’s “if you do this, then I’ll love you.” Absolute love. The kind that has been there the entire time whether we were looking at it or not. A God, that is our champion, moving us along, giving us opportunity to shine.
A lot of us spent years trying to outrun guilt, fear, shame, and our own heads. Then we get here and find out the answer might just be sitting still long enough to realize we are already loved by something bigger than us. Not someday. Not after we become perfect. Not after we clean ourselves up enough to deserve it. Now.
Can you turn off the past and the future and just sit in “right now” for five minutes?
