November 26 — Fear
“We are then in much less danger of… fear.”
Fear—what a sucky thing to have running the entire show. I once heard someone say fear stands for Forget Everything’s All Right, and man, that hits home. One little spark sets me off, and boom: I’m worked up, anxiety through the roof, inventing a whole disaster that doesn’t even exist. Alcoholics have a gift for turning a molehill into a mountain in half a second. For me, the fear usually circles the same three drains: not enough money, not enough sex, or not enough approval. It’s like my ego demands way more attention than I deserve.
I remember being at a meeting once, shaking hands with everyone as I walked around. One guy didn’t shake back—it looked like he shrugged me off. The fear hit instantly. What did I do wrong? Why doesn’t he like me? Should I switch meetings? Start my own meeting? Go home? Quit AA? My head went straight into panic mode. Later I mentioned it to a friend, and he said, “Dude… that guy is blind and mostly deaf.” Yeah. I felt like an idiot.
Thank God for Rule 62: Don’t take yourself too damn seriously. My ego can latch onto one imagined problem and ignore the twenty people who actually welcomed me. Fear sucks. But today I try to pause long enough to remember: “Thy will be done.” It pulls me back into reality, into something steadier than my imagination. It works. It really does.
When was the last time your ego demanded way more attention than you deserved—and what did you do about it?
