We can turn almost any relationship into a scoreboard. I did this, but they did that. I apologized once, but they never apologized. I helped them more than they helped me. Before long, we have points, penalties, instant replay, and a final score proving we were right.
Step Eight asks us to put down the scoreboard.
Our responsibility doesn’t disappear because someone else behaved badly. Their part belongs to them. Our part belongs to us. Recovery becomes much simpler when we stop trying to balance the scales before we are willing to do what is ours.
This isn’t about letting people walk over us or pretending harmful behavior is acceptable. It is about recognizing that keeping score has rarely brought us peace. We can protect ourselves, set boundaries, and still take responsibility for our own conduct.
Is keeping score in a relationship preventing me from seeing my own part clearly?
