“Okay, okay, I’m confessing! I cheated on my history exam… I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and glued it to my face… I pushed my sister down the stairs and blamed it on the dog…”
— Chunk, The Goonies
Chunk just unloads. No filter, no order, just years of stuff flying out. A Fifth Step can feel like that. We’ve been carrying it, and now it’s coming out fast. But we’re going deeper than Chunk.
In Alcoholics Anonymous it says we admit the exact nature of our wrongs. Not just the list, the nature. That word matters. “Nature” comes from natura—birth, character—from nasci, to be born. It’s not just the action, it’s what keeps getting born inside us. Our default wiring. The instinct that shows up before we even think. The part of us that reaches for control, approval, or escape without asking permission. Same situation or different one, it reacts the same way. That’s the nature.
Yeah, we lied, hurt people, manipulated. But why? Approval? Fear? Control? Avoiding feelings? Not wanting to be alone? Same actions, different roots.
This is where it shifts. We stop replaying scenes and start seeing patterns, how we protect our self-centeredness at all costs. Where did we twist the truth, stay in control, avoid being wrong, or not feel uncomfortable? Different situations, same move underneath. And most of us don’t see it alone. We need someone who’s been there, who can hear it, call it what it is, and still sit with us.
Because if we only dump the list, we might feel relief. Alcoholics love relief. If we’re only chasing relief, we may drink again. But if we see the nature, something can change.
So the question isn’t just what did I do? It’s what keeps showing up, what was I trying to get or avoid, what part of me keeps getting born in this?
Have you been chasing relief or change?
