We can spend a lot of time rehearsing conversations that haven’t happened yet. We imagine what we will say, what they will say back, how we will defend ourselves, and how the whole thing will end.
By the time the real conversation arrives, we have already had it fifty times in our head.
Step Eight reminds us that we aren’t there yet. We are making a list and becoming willing. Step Nine will have its own instructions, and our sponsor can help us decide what an amends should actually look like. We don’t have to race ahead and direct the entire scene ourselves.
There is relief in staying where our feet are. Today we can be honest about the harm. Today we can work on willingness. Tomorrow’s conversation does not need to happen in our head tonight.
Am I making myself afraid of an amends by rehearsing a conversation that hasn’t happened?
