November 15 – The Spirit of Forgiveness
“That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness. (Today)” — Prayer of Saint Francis
The entire prayer of St. Francis would be a whole lot easier to live by if that line weren’t in it. Forgiveness and wrong—those are tricky words, and they’ve always been confusing ones for me.
The first step is figuring out what’s actually wrong, and that’s not simple. These days, the only safe ground is my own behavior. Still, people do hurtful things—lie, manipulate, steal. It’s human. It happens.
Early in sobriety, dating seemed harmless enough—until it wasn’t. The person I was seeing hadn’t fully left their last relationship, and I labeled that “very wrong.” My sponsor listened to my rant, then went quiet. Finally he said, “Forgive her, or hang on to it for the rest of your life. Your choice.” That landed hard. Resentment had already dug in deep.
The only way out was back through the Big Book process. A little willingness cracked open the door, and light started to come in. Forgiveness followed right behind it. I once heard in AA “Those with the most tools do the work.” That line stuck. The inventory, the prayers, the surrender—it all helped move the resentment out and the peace in.
Things still go sideways sometimes. People still disappoint. Life still happens. But for me, staying sober and staying free means forgiving faster, even when I don’t want to. That’s where the spirit of this program really starts working.
What’s something you’ve had to forgive so you could be free?
