Alcoholics know resentment well. It can take us back out on a drinking spree faster than just about anything, and most of us have proved that to ourselves more than once.
But resentment isn't just something we carry. We created it too.
Our drinking left people angry, hurt, disappointed, and distrustful. We made promises we didn't keep. We borrowed money we never repaid. We disappeared when people needed us most. While we've spent years nursing our own resentments, others have been carrying resentment toward us.
Step Eight and Nine give us the chance to hand some of that burden back. When we honestly admit what we've done, make restitution where we can, and listen without excuses, arguments, or debate, we give another human being the opportunity to finally say what they've been carrying for years. Sometimes it isn't pretty. Sometimes it hurts to hear. But that's part of cleaning up our side of the street.
Whether they're able to let go of their resentment is up to them. Our job is simply to give them the opportunity. We put in the footwork, return what we owe, listen to the hurt we caused, and do our best to make things right. That's how character is built. Not by talking about change, but by living it.
Have you ever realized someone had every right to resent you? What did making that amend teach you?
