One of the uncomfortable truths about amends is that we don’t get to decide how the other person receives them. We may become willing to make something right and secretly imagine the ending. They forgive us. We hug. Everybody feels better. Maybe they even tell us it wasn’t that bad.
But Step Eight is preparing us for something different. We are becoming willing to take responsibility for our part without requiring anything in return. The people we harmed are allowed to have their own feelings about what happened. They may forgive us. They may not. They may need time. They may want nothing to do with us.
That doesn’t make the work meaningless. Our willingness cannot depend on getting the response we want. We are cleaning up our side of the street, not negotiating a trade. We do what is ours to do and leave the outcome where it belongs.
Can I become willing to make something right without expecting forgiveness in return?
