Sometimes it seems like we choose our sponsor. Looking back, it can feel like the choice was made for us through Divine appointment.
When I had my amends list, my sponsor gave me one clear warning: Do not go back to my old home bar to make amends. No long explanation. Just stay out of the bar. I didn't listen.
What I can see now, and what I suspect he saw then, was that I had mistaken amends for an approval-seeking mission. I wanted to make everything cool again with the bar where I was no longer welcome. Somewhere underneath my good intentions, Deep down I may have wanted my seat back. So I went back to the people to make amends.
My past behavior was presented to me completely unfiltered. Instead of my list getting shorter, it got longer. Somehow, I stayed sober through all of it. Today, I believe I needed to hear what I heard. By not taking a suggestion, God gave me exactly what I went looking for: the truth. It wasn't pretty.
Sometimes our sponsor sees what we can't see yet. We don't always have to understand a suggestion before we take it.
Have you ever ignored a suggestion and later understood exactly why it was given?
