One of the biggest misunderstandings going on today is people constantly talking about “looking for my part.” during the Fifth Step process. First off, the book doesn’t actually say that. And after all, when we start looking for “our part” in problems, subconsciously that means the other person must have a part too. Then once we get rolling on these stories, whose part do you think we’re going to make bigger? Yeah. Theirs.
The book says we “resolutely looked for our own mistakes.” It says, “Where were we to blame?” That’s a different deal entirely. This ain’t about playing judge and jury on a situation while trying to talk our sponsor into feeling sorry for us. Most of us can already build a pretty convincing case against the entire world. We were professionals at it.
This inventory is about us. Where did we compromise our morals? Where did we go against our own good nature? Where did we play God? Where did we force outcomes, manage people, or try to arrange life so we could feel okay? Somewhere along the line, most of us got exhausted from fighting everything and everybody all the time.
The goal here isn’t to become a doormat. It’s to finally get honest enough that we can live in the world without constantly being at war with it.
Where did we play God trying to keep everything manageable?
