"Selfishness—self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles." — Big Book
The overactive ego loves to create problems to solve, and it almost never solves them by going to a Higher Power. Instead, it reaches for its favorite tools: anger, pride, jealousy, greed, lust, self-pity, and control. They feel natural. They feel protective. They feel like they were put there to defend us.
For a lot of us, these reactions became so automatic that we stopped questioning them. We take something personally? We get angry. We compare ourselves to somebody else? We get jealous. Things don't go our way? We feel sorry for ourselves. We get uncomfortable? We start trying to control people and outcomes.
The problem is these are bad defense mechanisms. They don't work. Anger creates more anger. Pride isolates us. Jealousy steals our peace. Self-pity keeps us stuck. Control usually creates the very problems we're trying to avoid.
And when it comes to alcoholics, these are dangerous propositions. They lead to resentment, and resentment leads to drinking. For us, to drink is to die. That's why Step Six isn't about becoming perfect. It's about becoming willing to let go of the things that keep hurting us.
The ego always wants to solve the problem itself. Recovery teaches us to bring the problem to God instead.
Which character defect has spent the most time pretending to protect you?
