"Self-righteousness, the very thing that we had contempt for in others, was our own besetting evil." — Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
One of the more subtle character defects is the need to be right.
After all, if we're right, the story is over. We don't have to change. We don't have to apologize. We don't have to look at ourselves. Everyone else just needs to realize we were right all along and leave us alone.
Most of us spent years building a case for ourselves. We had an explanation for everything. We defended every decision, justified every resentment, and always had one more reason why things weren't really our fault.
Then we got sober and discovered something strange.
We don't have to win every conversation anymore.
There's a freedom that comes from saying, "I was wrong." There's peace in letting someone else have the last word. We don't lose anything by admitting a mistake. In fact, we usually gain something far more valuable than being right—we gain humility.
Step Seven isn't about becoming quiet or weak. It's about no longer needing our ego to be fed every time someone disagrees with us.
The longer we stay sober, the less important it becomes to prove ourselves, and the more important it becomes to be useful. Sometimes the most spiritual thing we can say is, "You know what? I could be wrong."
When was the last time admitting you were wrong brought you more peace than proving you were right?
