“But what about the real alcoholic? ... he gets drunk at exactly the wrong moment. Particularly when some important decision must be made or engagement kept.” — “Real Alcoholic,” Big Book
What?
These guys just handed us the cheat sheet.
If our obvious goal is not to drink, it helps to know when our alcoholism likes to wake up: important decisions and engagements that need kept.
Our alcoholism loves uncertainty. The minute life gets unclear, complicated, or emotionally expensive, that old screw-it mentality starts warming up in the bullpen.
That mindset doesn’t just randomly show up. It flares when life gets real, when there’s pressure, when people are counting on us, and when we have to choose.
No wonder so many of us got drunk in the first week of a new job. That’s a buffet of engagements to keep. No wonder some of us jump into relationships and immediately turn them into chaos. Suddenly it’s: is this my forever person? When do they meet my kids? Did we have sex too soon? How do I make meetings and still date without losing my mind?
That’s a lot of important decisions.
This isn’t permission to panic. That explains a lot.
If we know our disease gets loud when responsibility shows up, maybe we quit acting surprised when life gets serious. That’s when we call somebody, stick close, and stop pretending we’re fine.
Because apparently our alcoholism doesn’t wait for the worst moments.
It waits for the important ones.
When life gets real, do you get sober—or do you get squirrelly?
