“Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.”— How It Works, Alcoholics Anonymous
A lot of us in the rooms started feeling immediate relief when we let go of old ideas — old dependencies, assumptions, and the conclusions we used to jump to during our most hungover moments. We started hearing How It Works over and over in meetings, and eventually parts of it began to sink in. “The result was nil” hit home for a few. We wanted to stay sober. Nil wasn’t going to cut it.
The first three suggested steps rolled around in our heads. They had been enough to keep us sober to this point. But when we read the word decision, we wondered what that meant. What would we become? Would we have the same friends? The same job? The same life? Is this really going to work for me? Am I too far gone? Overwhelmed, many of us put the decision on the back burner while we gathered more information in meetings. And then, quietly, something shifted.
Whatever happens will be better than the lying and hurting we lived through while drinking. Hadn’t we been making a bigger deal out of it than it needed to be? Our lives were clearly unmanageable. Fully conceding to our innermost selves that when we drink, we don’t quit on our own willpower — something had to be done. And without a proper mental defense, the thought of trying to drink normally again wasn't too far off in the future.
In that moment of desperation, something guided us toward making a decision — not perfectly, and that’s not the point. Because by the time we made the decision, hadn’t we already made up our minds anyway? And as for whether it would work for us, weren't we already living the answer, one sober day at a time?
What held you back from letting go absolutely — and what finally helped you loosen your grip?
