"Man, that brain loves to snap back and start looking for someone to blame, doesn't it?" — AA member
Having gotten this far in the Steps, we are given a new discipline. A new responsibility.
In times of stress, especially when other people are involved, we start looking for our own mistakes. Where did I get the ball rolling? Where did I react poorly? Where did I act against my own good character and make the situation worse instead of seeing how I could be useful?
We use the old slogan think, think, think to get us into the solution... eventually.
And the solution is usually the same: How can I be of help in this situation?
Our egos don't like that very much. After all, isn't the ego there to solve problems? To figure out who's wrong and who deserves the blame? The problem is that our ego has a long history of making things worse.
Just because we did a Fourth and Fifth Step doesn't automatically keep us from pointing fingers. It simply opens the door to a new way of living where we can practice this new discipline. A way of pausing long enough to ask, "Where did I react poorly?" "What could I have done better?" and "How can I be useful here?"
Daily, we try.
Has there ever been a situation where you were absolutely sure someone else was the problem, only to later realize you could have handled it differently?
