“Fear is the instrument of the ego to see if it can spook me.”
Knee-deep in the Fourth Step, we don’t get to skip this part. We start looking at fear—not the surface-level stuff we talk about, but the stuff running underneath everything. So we take one down, pass it around, and yeah… maybe there’s one less bottle of fear on the wall.
A lot of us have had to slow down and actually write it out: when did this fear first show up? How did we act selfish because of it? What do we honestly think will happen if it comes true? And what’s sitting underneath it? Because if we’re being real, fear doesn’t usually walk in and introduce itself. It hides. It shows up as control, avoidance, anger, “I don’t care,” or trying to look right, sound right, be right. A lot of us called it personality, or instincts, or just “how we are.” And a lot of the time, what we thought was resentment had fear sitting underneath it the whole time.
That’s why this matters. We don’t get free from something we’re still protecting. If we’re still explaining it, justifying it, or pretending it makes sense, it’s probably still running the show. So we drag it out, name it, and look at what it’s cost us—missed chances, shut-down relationships, things we never even tried. Not to beat ourselves up, just to finally see it straight. Some of these fears have been hanging around so long they feel normal, like part of the furniture. But they’re not. They’re just bottles, and we don’t have to keep stacking them up.
What’s one fear you’ve seen hiding underneath something else—like anger, control, or avoidance—and what has it actually been costing us?
“Fear is the instrument of the ego to see if it can spook me.”
Knee-deep in the Fourth Step, we don’t get to skip this part. We start looking at fear—not the surface-level stuff we talk about, but the stuff running underneath everything. So we take one down, pass it around, and yeah… maybe there’s one less bottle of fear on the wall.
A lot of us have had to slow down and actually write it out: when did this fear first show up? How did we act selfish because of it? What do we honestly think will happen if it comes true? And what’s sitting underneath it? Because if we’re being real, fear doesn’t usually walk in and introduce itself. It hides. It shows up as control, avoidance, anger, “I don’t care,” or trying to look right, sound right, be right. A lot of us called it personality, or instincts, or just “how we are.” And a lot of the time, what we thought was resentment had fear sitting underneath it the whole time.
That’s why this matters. We don’t get free from something we’re still protecting. If we’re still explaining it, justifying it, or pretending it makes sense, it’s probably still running the show. So we drag it out, name it, and look at what it’s cost us—missed chances, shut-down relationships, things we never even tried. Not to beat ourselves up, just to finally see it straight. Some of these fears have been hanging around so long they feel normal, like part of the furniture. But they’re not. They’re just bottles, and we don’t have to keep stacking them up.
What’s one fear you’ve seen hiding underneath something else—like anger, control, or avoidance—and what has it actually been costing us?
“Fear is the instrument of the ego to see if it can spook me.”
Knee-deep in the Fourth Step, we don’t get to skip this part. We start looking at fear—not the surface-level stuff we talk about, but the stuff running underneath everything. So we take one down, pass it around, and yeah… maybe there’s one less bottle of fear on the wall.
A lot of us have had to slow down and actually write it out: when did this fear first show up? How did we act selfish because of it? What do we honestly think will happen if it comes true? And what’s sitting underneath it? Because if we’re being real, fear doesn’t usually walk in and introduce itself. It hides. It shows up as control, avoidance, anger, “I don’t care,” or trying to look right, sound right, be right. A lot of us called it personality, or instincts, or just “how we are.” And a lot of the time, what we thought was resentment had fear sitting underneath it the whole time.
That’s why this matters. We don’t get free from something we’re still protecting. If we’re still explaining it, justifying it, or pretending it makes sense, it’s probably still running the show. So we drag it out, name it, and look at what it’s cost us—missed chances, shut-down relationships, things we never even tried. Not to beat ourselves up, just to finally see it straight. Some of these fears have been hanging around so long they feel normal, like part of the furniture. But they’re not. They’re just bottles, and we don’t have to keep stacking them up.
What’s one fear you’ve seen hiding underneath something else—like anger, control, or avoidance—and what has it actually been costing us?
“Fear is the instrument of the ego to see if it can spook me.”
Knee-deep in the Fourth Step, we don’t get to skip this part. We start looking at fear—not the surface-level stuff we talk about, but the stuff running underneath everything. So we take one down, pass it around, and yeah… maybe there’s one less bottle of fear on the wall.
A lot of us have had to slow down and actually write it out: when did this fear first show up? How did we act selfish because of it? What do we honestly think will happen if it comes true? And what’s sitting underneath it? Because if we’re being real, fear doesn’t usually walk in and introduce itself. It hides. It shows up as control, avoidance, anger, “I don’t care,” or trying to look right, sound right, be right. A lot of us called it personality, or instincts, or just “how we are.” And a lot of the time, what we thought was resentment had fear sitting underneath it the whole time.
That’s why this matters. We don’t get free from something we’re still protecting. If we’re still explaining it, justifying it, or pretending it makes sense, it’s probably still running the show. So we drag it out, name it, and look at what it’s cost us—missed chances, shut-down relationships, things we never even tried. Not to beat ourselves up, just to finally see it straight. Some of these fears have been hanging around so long they feel normal, like part of the furniture. But they’re not. They’re just bottles, and we don’t have to keep stacking them up.
What’s one fear you’ve seen hiding underneath something else—like anger, control, or avoidance—and what has it actually been costing us?
“Fear is the instrument of the ego to see if it can spook me.”
Knee-deep in the Fourth Step, we don’t get to skip this part. We start looking at fear—not the surface-level stuff we talk about, but the stuff running underneath everything. So we take one down, pass it around, and yeah… maybe there’s one less bottle of fear on the wall.
A lot of us have had to slow down and actually write it out: when did this fear first show up? How did we act selfish because of it? What do we honestly think will happen if it comes true? And what’s sitting underneath it? Because if we’re being real, fear doesn’t usually walk in and introduce itself. It hides. It shows up as control, avoidance, anger, “I don’t care,” or trying to look right, sound right, be right. A lot of us called it personality, or instincts, or just “how we are.” And a lot of the time, what we thought was resentment had fear sitting underneath it the whole time.
That’s why this matters. We don’t get free from something we’re still protecting. If we’re still explaining it, justifying it, or pretending it makes sense, it’s probably still running the show. So we drag it out, name it, and look at what it’s cost us—missed chances, shut-down relationships, things we never even tried. Not to beat ourselves up, just to finally see it straight. Some of these fears have been hanging around so long they feel normal, like part of the furniture. But they’re not. They’re just bottles, and we don’t have to keep stacking them up.
What’s one fear you’ve seen hiding underneath something else—like anger, control, or avoidance—and what has it actually been costing us?
“Fear is the instrument of the ego to see if it can spook me.”
Knee-deep in the Fourth Step, we don’t get to skip this part. We start looking at fear—not the surface-level stuff we talk about, but the stuff running underneath everything. So we take one down, pass it around, and yeah… maybe there’s one less bottle of fear on the wall.
A lot of us have had to slow down and actually write it out: when did this fear first show up? How did we act selfish because of it? What do we honestly think will happen if it comes true? And what’s sitting underneath it? Because if we’re being real, fear doesn’t usually walk in and introduce itself. It hides. It shows up as control, avoidance, anger, “I don’t care,” or trying to look right, sound right, be right. A lot of us called it personality, or instincts, or just “how we are.” And a lot of the time, what we thought was resentment had fear sitting underneath it the whole time.
That’s why this matters. We don’t get free from something we’re still protecting. If we’re still explaining it, justifying it, or pretending it makes sense, it’s probably still running the show. So we drag it out, name it, and look at what it’s cost us—missed chances, shut-down relationships, things we never even tried. Not to beat ourselves up, just to finally see it straight. Some of these fears have been hanging around so long they feel normal, like part of the furniture. But they’re not. They’re just bottles, and we don’t have to keep stacking them up.
What’s one fear you’ve seen hiding underneath something else—like anger, control, or avoidance—and what has it actually been costing us?
“Fear is the instrument of the ego to see if it can spook me.”
Knee-deep in the Fourth Step, we don’t get to skip this part. We start looking at fear—not the surface-level stuff we talk about, but the stuff running underneath everything. So we take one down, pass it around, and yeah… maybe there’s one less bottle of fear on the wall.
A lot of us have had to slow down and actually write it out: when did this fear first show up? How did we act selfish because of it? What do we honestly think will happen if it comes true? And what’s sitting underneath it? Because if we’re being real, fear doesn’t usually walk in and introduce itself. It hides. It shows up as control, avoidance, anger, “I don’t care,” or trying to look right, sound right, be right. A lot of us called it personality, or instincts, or just “how we are.” And a lot of the time, what we thought was resentment had fear sitting underneath it the whole time.
That’s why this matters. We don’t get free from something we’re still protecting. If we’re still explaining it, justifying it, or pretending it makes sense, it’s probably still running the show. So we drag it out, name it, and look at what it’s cost us—missed chances, shut-down relationships, things we never even tried. Not to beat ourselves up, just to finally see it straight. Some of these fears have been hanging around so long they feel normal, like part of the furniture. But they’re not. They’re just bottles, and we don’t have to keep stacking them up.
What’s one fear you’ve seen hiding underneath something else—like anger, control, or avoidance—and what has it actually been costing us?
“Fear is the instrument of the ego to see if it can spook me.”
Knee-deep in the Fourth Step, we don’t get to skip this part. We start looking at fear—not the surface-level stuff we talk about, but the stuff running underneath everything. So we take one down, pass it around, and yeah… maybe there’s one less bottle of fear on the wall.
A lot of us have had to slow down and actually write it out: when did this fear first show up? How did we act selfish because of it? What do we honestly think will happen if it comes true? And what’s sitting underneath it? Because if we’re being real, fear doesn’t usually walk in and introduce itself. It hides. It shows up as control, avoidance, anger, “I don’t care,” or trying to look right, sound right, be right. A lot of us called it personality, or instincts, or just “how we are.” And a lot of the time, what we thought was resentment had fear sitting underneath it the whole time.
That’s why this matters. We don’t get free from something we’re still protecting. If we’re still explaining it, justifying it, or pretending it makes sense, it’s probably still running the show. So we drag it out, name it, and look at what it’s cost us—missed chances, shut-down relationships, things we never even tried. Not to beat ourselves up, just to finally see it straight. Some of these fears have been hanging around so long they feel normal, like part of the furniture. But they’re not. They’re just bottles, and we don’t have to keep stacking them up.
What’s one fear you’ve seen hiding underneath something else—like anger, control, or avoidance—and what has it actually been costing us?
