"We found that we had to be entirely honest..." — Alcoholics Anonymous
One of the biggest surprises in sobriety is finding out that alcoholism can still show up long after the drink is gone.
Everybody around us can see it except us, which is pretty much how it worked when we were drinking too.
For some, lust has them borrowing Grandma's car and driving hours away chasing the next conquest. For others, greed convinces them to steal something at a gas station even though they've got plenty of money in their pocket. Some become habitual liars, covering their tracks and managing appearances. Some get so wrapped up in sloth that they build an entire lifestyle around avoiding responsibility.
The defect doesn't really matter. What matters is that the obsession, the justification, and the blind spot all feel strangely familiar.
The drink may be gone, but the thinking isn't.
Alcoholism has a way of putting on different clothes and pretending it's something else. It can disguise itself as ambition, romance, self-pity, anger, comfort, or even righteousness. Whatever form it takes, it usually comes with the same old story: This time it's different.
That's why rigorous honesty matters. Not the kind we practice after we're caught. The kind that allows us to recognize what's happening while we're still doing it.
Most of us don't wake up one morning and decide to become selfish, dishonest, fearful, or resentful. We slide into it. Then we defend it. Then we wonder why life feels unmanageable again.
Have you ever caught yourself in full alcoholic mode without taking a drink? What finally made you see it?
