“Everybody’s got a story, and they’re sticking to it.” — “People Hating” by The Red Clay Strays
There seems to be two types of alcoholics. Happy alcoholics who use the tools to work through resentments, and unhappy alcoholics who can't help but to find things to get worked up over again.
Resentment is poison in a spiritual life. It blocks connection with anything bigger than us. Not just God, but people too. It keeps us locked inside our own version of events, replaying the story until we feel justified all over again.
Unhappy alcoholics don't truly let go of resentful thinking. The stories feel like a personal attacks, self-pitying reasons to distract themselves in the mental battlefield they created. Eventually they advance the war, usually through character assassination, and it gets worse. Instead of putting in the work to let it go, they try to recruit people to their side. They tell the story just right until they can get someone to agree. Now they're’re not just hurt, they’re right.
Not being willing to look at a resentment is one of the most self-centered things we can do. We play the victim. We sit in self-pity. And while we’re doing that, we’re cut off. Obvious to everyone else around us, we’re cut off from truth, from connection, from peace.
Resentment makes it all about us. For people trying to stay sober through connection, it quietly infects the whole thing. We can end up isolated, even in a room full of people.
We keep hurting people. Mostly ourselves.
Step Three gives us access to something different. Not instant freedom, but the power to start letting go in a genuine way, if we’re willing to do the work.
People have told us to “drop it.” And a lot of us got really good at pretending to. We say the words, we nod along… but we carry it with us anyway.
Which type of alcoholic are you?
