October 30 – Shit Happens, Then Grace
“We’re all just walking each other home.” — Ram Dass
Admitting means confessing — usually with reluctance. I don’t leap into it; I drag my feet. When I’m unwilling to admit my wrong, it starts building pressure inside me. Somebody once said in a meeting, “Anxiety shows up when you’re trapped between doing what you shouldn’t do and not doing what you should do.” Yeah, that’s about right.
I forget all the time how forgiving people can start when I show a little humility and clean up my side of the street. Most of the time, I’m not scared of being wrong — I’m scared of being seen. I don’t want to look weak, or human, or messy. But nobody’s perfect, and shit happens. Lies sneak out as exaggerations, selfish motives take the wheel, anger makes a scene. Sometimes my intentions are good, but my actions still confuse even me.
That’s why I’m grateful for the AA program that gives me a way to reset. I don’t have to stay stuck in guilt or pride. I can admit it, fix it, and go to bed with a clear conscience.
Is there any wrong in your heart right now that you’re still hanging on to?
